the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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