I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize