So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
