would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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