If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
