I think i peed on brittanys purse
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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