Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
