I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am available for nakedness
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
