I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The air taste purple.
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