your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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