i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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