he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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