I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
