were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
