there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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