fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
