his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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