I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
