Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
