I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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