Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
