Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
