They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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