my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
