HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
