He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize