I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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