She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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