i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
