hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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