remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
