when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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