I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize