Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she peed on how many people?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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