i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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