Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
