my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
