Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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