i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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