He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
