We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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