So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
