its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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