For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A+ Viking dick
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
