at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
