You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just found a bag of teeth...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
