You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
