You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
