when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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