also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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