I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
