Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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