if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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