you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
