Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
